How to Thrive by Gaining Access to Your Limitless Potential

Teaser: 

So I never want anyone to believe that they can't do something. I will say, my mom, that was something she impressed upon her children. Like, you can do anything. And again, back to those limitations. So if we have the mindset of can, yes, there are things on the physics realm that our bodies are not capable of doing, but that still doesn't have to limit us. If I can believe that I can fly, who says I can't? 1.5s If that's how I see the world and if I can fly, I can do whatever it is. I can lift car, which there are some people who lift cars, but I only limit myself by my belief. And so I can do anything. And that's how I've raised my girls and my mom raised me. And I think that everyone like, for us to truly grow in what we're capable of achieving, we all need that belief system. We can do anything.  

U2

Welcome to the Inclusive Leaders Podcast, the place where you'll hear strategic and tactical advice shared by diversity, equity and inclusion experts. This podcast brought to you by Matheson IO, the world's first dei operating system. If you're looking for dei assessments, benchmarking tools, sourcing support, training and more, look no further. Go to www dot matheson. IO. The link to connect with us is in the description let's get back to the episode. Miracle. I know you as an incredible dei leader, someone who specializes in health and wellness, and you've done so many things, and I love the fact that you are a multi potential light. But for those that don't know about you, could you let us know a little bit about who you are and what you do?

U1

Of course. Well, first, I just want to thank you so much for inviting me here today, Robert. This is exciting, and I'm excited about the work that you do and that you've provided a platform to educate and lighten and support your greater inclusion, and not just in the workplace, but in the world. So thank you for that. 1s Where to start? With me, 1.8s I would say that I'm a black lesbian, single mom of two. I'm a creative, a social justice advocate, and an ally who I truly believe that every human deserves knowledge and understanding and access to pursue their goals and their dreams in this life, no matter what may have happened in their past. I also am, like you mentioned, Robert, I'm a multi potential, which means for me that I love doing and achieving goals in many different fields. So I've worked in politics, grassroots movements, nonprofits schools, corporations. I'm an entrepreneur and a visionary. So my mind is constantly going on ways we can bring greater joy, we can bring greater purpose and enlightenment to others. My mantra is change the world one mind at a time. And I truly do believe that we have an opportunity to do that as individuals, but also collect effectively as a people.

U2

And I know that through your deib work actually, we're going to go through a lot of different questions here, but I know that through your deib work, you've helped a lot of working moms along their healing journey to really become more confident and bold. Can you talk a little bit about how you've been able to support and help those people? 1.4s

U1

Well, my passion is in healing and addressing root causes, which I believe stem from our traumas. And now, in today's society, I believe that every single one of us have experienced trauma. So taking a few steps back, for me, 1s all of this started with me. I wanted to understand me. I'm a complex trauma survivor, and if you don't know what that means, that means that multiple traumas have happened in my life that have impacted my daily output but also my view of the world. So I wanted to know why. Why did I struggle to retain information? Why was it difficult for me to use my voice in certain social situations? Or why was it that when I heard a noise or I smelled a certain smell or a certain person would come into the room, that it would make me uncomfortable and my anxiety would increase? I didn't know, and no one had ever told me or educated me on these things, so I wanted to understand me. And part of that was I was a teen mom, and I won't go into the details of all of that, but as a mom, I wanted to be better. I wanted to be a good mom.

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And I knew that if I didn't take care of this, if I didn't address these issues in my life, our kids model our behaviors. Our kids look up to us, and they see the world the way that they see the world through our eyes, and we teach that to them. And I didn't want my children to attach my own struggles as their way of viewing the world. So I knew that I wanted to be wholly present for them, and I wanted to be there. So I needed to get rid of I needed to take care of this. I needed to understand and change my behaviors for them. So throughout my studies, I found that I wasn't the only one who was struggling in these ways. And I wanted to find as I was healing and as I was progressing, I wanted to give back. I wanted to let other people know that you weren't alone. So in working with yes, primarily I was working with moms, and so working with those moms. 2.6s One of the things I realize is that we are constantly going. We wake up, it's kids, kids, breakfast clothes, shoes out the door, driving to school, back home or back to work, doing, going, going, going nonstop. And we never take a moment to breathe. We never take a moment to sit with ourselves and to even understand what's happening within our bodies. And so one of the things that 1.6s I've been able to do with my moms is to really just teach them how to sit teach them how to sit with themselves, to feel their bodies, to feel the thoughts that they have to feel the feelings that they have, no matter how dark, how dangerous they may have felt, how 1.3s off the wall they may have felt. There's a process that we go through when we start to unravel that a lot of us don't allow ourselves to do that.

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And one of the beautiful things about healing is that we unravel because when we unravel, we're able to uncover the things that we've kept hidden or the things that we've suppressed or the things that we were ashamed about. And so a lot of the women that I've worked with have had to go through that process of learning how to sit with themselves and be okay with themselves and to accept themselves as they are so that they can create the life that they want to create and to become who they have always been. But they've never been introduced to that beautiful person. So, yeah, I also know that we. 1.1s Often like to think that our healing journey is, you know, at some point as TADA, I've arrived, I'm healed, I'm great. The world looks green and blue and fresh and new, and it's not like that at all. And so one of the other things, most important things I had to impress upon the the women that I worked with was that this is a life long journey. So give yourself grace, give yourself compassion, love yourself every day because you may go back, you may jump 10ft forward. There's a flow that happens. So allow yourself the grace, compassion, and the love to go through this journey called life. I

U2

come from the dental background a little bit in the military, and so we would always focus on triage. And then what is the treatment plan but, like, for healing, though, is there a specific treatment plan that's, like, kind of common, or is everybody's, I guess, treatment or healing journey extremely different, or are there, like, different similarities? 3.3s

U1

The way that I like to say it is that we are all different. So therefore, there is no right or wrong. There is no cookie cutter way to go about our healing. Journey is going to be different for every single person. But one thing that I have found is, like I mentioned, that you have to get comfortable with you. 1.5s Everything turns comes back around to you. It's not my daughter, it's not my husband or my wife. It's not my boss, my mother. You have to look within you. So that's where I always start with my clients. And a lot of them are that's the scariest place to go. Because we're so used to being outside of ourselves, looking at our environment for answers or looking to other people for answers. But every answer that we need, our path, our healing, everything that we need is already within us. So working with them in the way that I coach, working with them is giving them the space to find their own path. And so my job is just to be there with them and to walk that journey with them. A lot of times they just need someone to hold their hand.

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They just need somebody to walk with them, to support them, to tell them that they got it and that they're on the right path because there is no right or wrong path. So whatever path they're on is their right path in that moment. And it may change. It may diverge or go one way or the other, but it's right for them in that moment. And we have to know that that's okay. We've been taught over and over again that this is the way, like you were just saying, as a military background, this is the process. This is step A, step B, step C. But that's not truth. In reality, we're complex beings. So to say that one way is the way, 1.1s it's not accurate. It's not accurate for any of us. It just makes us comfortable because we have control over it in that space. What

U2

do you feel like has been one of the most impactful revelations that someone has had? Has it been through, like, meditation or just, like, exploring themselves? Visualization what's the practice that people utilize when it comes to, like just. 3.8s

U1

One. Another thing that I love to do is explore and create. And by just allowing ourselves to play, there are a lot of things that can come up that we didn't realize were even within us. And so I did have a client once who was a creative, and in their process of creating, 1.3s they started to unearth some things about their mother that they didn't realize was even there. And then the process was more on. 1.8s I just want you to sit with yourself. And if you're going out and you're walking and you want to take some pictures, go take some pictures. If you want to draw, then draw and just allow yourself to be in that space. No expectations, no rules. Don't limit yourself, but just allow space. And as they started to work, they started to realize that there was something that was blocking them, there was something that was sitting deep within them. And so we came back into session and they explained this to me, and I said, we're just going to sit with it for a minute. I want you to turn inward and I want you to just feel. 1.6s Don't try to define, but just feel. Feel the feeling. What is the feeling? Describe it. Use your senses to describe it. Can you remember the last time you felt that way? And as they started to unravel this feeling, it came back to their mother and the relationship that they had with their mother and how contentious it was. And they realized that their mother had spoken a word over them, that they could not do the thing that they loved to do the most. And so that was the struggle that they were having. It's like, I love photography, I love drawing, I love visual arts, and yet my business is failing. Yet I can't seem to overcome this hurdle. And so by allowing space to explore and discover, it opened this space within them for them to understand the root of where their belief system came from so that they could process through that, give space for it and understand that they were carrying something that was never theirs to carry in the first place. And then give grace and compassion for it, release it and let it go so that they can move forward with their own belief system and creating their own practices that would help them grow. So that's cool that you really take people through that process. 1.4s When we talk a little bit about resilience and just navigating different practices, if we're bogged down by negative self talk,

U2

burnout stories about ourselves that we kind of internalized, how can we just navigate those things and become more resilient people? 1.1s

U1

Yeah, that's a great question. I would say the first step, especially when it comes to Negativity self talk, the burnout and the stories that we tell ourselves, the first step is to be aware. Because again, our lives are so externally focused. So 1.3s before we can change something, we have to know that it exists. The best way to go about knowing that something exists is to become aware of it. How Negativity speaks in your life, it may come in a way that, well, that's not negative, that's just reality. I'm just being realistic. But if it's something that limits you from achieving whatever you are setting out to achieve, or it limits you in your thinking or in your doing or in your connecting, then that's a limitation that I would label as negative. So any type of limitation that you place on yourself, 1s I call that negative self talk. And so in that, we have to be aware of how Negativity speaks in our lives and understand that awareness is not just a linear practice. It's constant tuning in to how we talk to ourselves, the stories and beliefs we carry that are ours, but also the ones that are not ours. Like I mentioned previously, 1.2s we need that awareness. That's where it starts. The second thing that I would say is the world is going to continue to turn. So to navigate any practice, we have to be aware. We have to understand that the things that we were taught as a people or as an individual, as children, to not trust our feelings, to suppress our emotions or downright ignore them. We were taught to quiet our curiosities, to not rock the boat. I don't know if you would remember any of these phrases. Some of these might date me a little bit, but some of the things that I've been told is like, you're getting too big for your britches or stop asking so many questions. Do it because I said so. Sit down and be quiet, pay attention, do what I say, not as I do. All of these things. There are so many contradictions within themselves, but at the same time. 1.8s What happens is that we begin to question ourselves, 1.8s and we never stopped. So to navigate a resilience practice, we have to unlearn our programming. And I'm not blaming our parents, because our parents did the best that they could with what they knew. But we're adults now, right? So we have the ability to unlearn our programming programming, get to know ourselves and to put in the practices that help us achieve what we need and want to achieve with our lives. 2.7s I said this before, and I believe it's the number one thing that we need to do and not spend time with ourselves. Meditation mindfulness. I know it's a buzzword or what have you, but it's still true. The thing that I think we have a misconception about what meditation is and what mindfulness is. But when it comes to meditation, it's not the whole sometimes it can be the mantras that we speak during our meditation, but a lot of times 1.4s it could be as simple as focusing on a candle as it's burning and putting your attention into that candle. It could be dancing. There are so many people that I've met that they achieve a meditative state through dancing or even singing. I mean, find the thing that moves you, that you love to do and spend time with all your energy and your effort focused on that thing. When it comes to mindfulness, that's just being intentional with what's in front of you. It makes you become more present in the moment. And that's what I love about mindfulness, because then you're able to sit. 1s And feel yourself in a space, you're able to see things differently, to feel things differently, how your body feels in that chair, to hear sounds that you may not even be aware of. But through mindfulness, we become more intentional about life. And that's the easiest and the hardest thing to do. But it's so necessary, and that's where the journey has to start. One of the other things that is super important is because what we've been taught to suppress, to ignore, to set aside, we have to allow space for our emotions. 1.4s We have to allow space for them to wreak havoc if they need to. But through that, through that unraveling, through that opening up, we are allowing our bodies to heal themselves. He'll heal herself, himself. However 1.2s you want to define your body, but that's what we need. We need that because we weren't allowed to. Our emotions have a place in our lives and so we have to give it that space. And you have to go through that journey to find the balance that you're seeking. 1.6s And I would also add that it's helpful, but not necessary to go on this journey with a coach or with a therapist because they can help guide you. But if you can't afford either one, you can do it yourself. There are so many groups, there are so many tools and things out there that can help you on that journey. It's not a requirement, but it is super helpful if you can. 2.7s

U2

Yeah, I feel like having that. The presence of a person who doesn't necessarily have 1.5s a stock into your life, their opinion, especially from a professional perspective, it just really helps. And when it comes to corporate spaces, I know you've been able to thrive in multiple environments, including corporate spaces. But in your opinion, what is the mental health practice that you feel like most companies or people are missing right now? 2.7s

U1

I would say that it would be surrounding trauma-informed practices. 1.2s I know that, again, mental health has become a buzzword, but I don't know if we truly understand how to implement mental health practices or even trauma-informed practices. It's also something that I've recognized, that they may offer it. It's an option, 1.5s but there's no guidance, there's no education on what it is, how it's going to help me, not just down the job, but how is it going to help me in my life? We don't create 1.9s the foundation of normality around it, because a lot of people really don't even understand what trauma is. We think of Big T traumas, abuse, violence, death, loss, those types of things, and they are traumatic. And at some point, 1.4s the only constant in this world is that we are born and we will die. So at some point, it will happen. That Big T trauma, and we'll have to overcome that and learn how to process through it. Some of us. 2.3s We deal with it the way that we deal with it. But there are also smaller everyday traumas that we dismiss that can affect our ability to do our best work. And some examples of those are an almost car accident. Hitting your head or breaking a bone, having a child birth. The beauty of birth in and of itself can be traumatic. And it can affect not just the mother and the child, but everyone that's connected to that parent. That mother 1.2s becoming a parent can be traumatic. 1.4s Experiencing workplace harassment, bullying, or even sexual harassment or sexual assault, seeing your loved one hurting can also be traumatic. The definition of trauma is a lasting emotional response to a situation.

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So if you find yourself in a situation where you're thinking about it the next day, it's affecting your ability to work, or it's coming back and you're starting to worry about it or get upset by it, chances are you've experienced something traumatic. And your body and your mind need time to process through that. And we don't allow ourselves to do that. It's like we suppress it and it's like, glad that didn't happen. I missed that car accident. Okay, let me get to work and we're good to go. But those situations, our bodies respond. And when our bodies respond in that way, we have to deal with it. And we don't allow ourselves to deal with it. Same thing with having a horrible, horrible boss. That can be traumatic. So if we're talking about mental health practices within corporations, it's important for us to understand, have the knowledge around what trauma is and then understand how it can affect us in the workplace. And then put opportunities and access to information, but also implement the practices on the job. Because when traumas happen, we have no control. We're triggered by any little thing that, like I mentioned earlier, loud noises or smells or seeing a person that may not even be the person who offended or affected you, but if they look like them or they dressed like them, it can trigger you. So if we're putting in practices that we can utilize day in and day out in the workplace, then we have an opportunity to overcome and process through the trauma itself so that it doesn't create lasting negative effects on our lives. 2.4s

U2

And I know that in your intro you mentioned that 1.5s you worked in politics for a while as a politician. Can you talk a little bit about how that has impacted your journey and what that was like? 1.1s

U1

Sure. 1.1s So. Yes, 1.2s I think I mentioned that. And when I become passionate about something, 1.3s I have a tendency to 1.3s just I love learning new things and I love being a voice and an advocate. And so in this particular journey, 1.5s there was an issue in my community where, 1s within the school system, I noticed that we were so quick 1s for corporal punishment. And that was something that 1.6s it's always rubbed me the wrong way. Because what we see as negative behaviors in the classroom are the way that this child, the coping mechanisms that this child has to express what's happening in their world. So it may not even be anything traumatic, but this is just how their body needs to move to process through what they're proud to cope. And so I wanted to bring a light to 2.9s how important mental health was in school systems, but also to provide a level of support for the teachers, but also the parents as well. Nobody was talking about we're talking about this bottom up approach of we're going to put all of our eggs into taking care of the child, but we're forgetting the support system for that child. So these parents, we're thinking, again externally, how do we provide for the tangibles which are necessary? I'm not discounting that whatsoever they're necessary. There are families who are struggling on a poverty level and they need food, they need utility assistance and things of those like that. But we were also forgetting the long term, the intangible things that were happening on the inside that would help that child, would further help that child succeed. So if we're providing these practices for children SEL social, emotional learning within the school system, but we're forgetting about the child, the home life for that child and the parents, then there's no way to reinforce that once that child leaves the school system. So they're going back into an environment where that learning stops. 1.3s And the same thing goes with just regular old academia math and reading and language and things of that nature in some households. But in this case, this is a life skill that will serve them their entire life. And it's important to make sure that there's an opportunity for 1s every individual, if possible, every individual that touches that child's life to have access to understanding social emotional learning or understanding how trauma has impacted their view of the world and how they operate in it. And so I decided that I wanted to run for school board, which is a nonpartisan position within my community. What I didn't know at the time 1.1s like I said, I see something I advocate and I ally and I run for it. But I didn't know at the time that I was the first 1.2s black person that had ever run for an office in my district. I was the first black woman and the first lesbian or LGBT person who ran for an office in my district. And I will say I was in a very red state in a very red district, so I was not expecting my efforts to make any sort of impact whatsoever. But what I found was that just because you may live in a certain demographic does not mean that everyone ascribes to that belief system. And so I did have an opportunity not just to work within my own district, but within all of the county. And so was able to spread the message and to spread the word that we need to remember the wraparound support for yes, the children, yes, the parents, and yes, the teachers and the administration and one of the biggest. 1.3s Things that can help with that is the creative arts. And that seems to be and I found this to be true across the country.

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That's the first thing to be cut in budgets. And so I was a strong advocate for don't do that. Don't cut the very thing that can help a child succeed in the classroom and in life. Give them that outlet. We're so quick to change schedules and to cut down recess time and to give space for them to what I call release their wiggles. And there's a practice that I do with adults as well. I'll go back into that. But I wanted to advocate for that. I wanted to share and to show how important certain practices, the exploration and the discovery and the creativity could help them in the classroom, and it could help them outside of the classroom. So that was my reason for running. And at the end, I was able to get it was 38% of the vote in my district, which was like, I won, 1.8s even though long term effects. Even after that, I was able to plant a seed that allowed for other 1.3s policies to be implemented within the county, within the school system, within law enforcement, within other mental health organizations. And it became a thought, but it also became 1.1s a movement in and of itself. So I'm sue super. That's all we need. Sometimes it's just for somebody to stand up, to say, this isn't right. We need to do something about this. And I think that was my place 1.6s in that campaign. 1.7s

U2

That's amazing. I know that you are an incredible change maker, and it seems like you're like, hey, I'm just going to make change wherever I want to make change, and I'm going to do it. And I love the fact that you consider yourself a multi potential. It did you have kind of a self discovery journey that led to

U1

that? Most definitely. 2.2s It starts with curiosity. Curiosity. So 1.9s my mom said that I was a very intuitive child. I was always asking questions, and so when I said up above, she's like, It's because I said so. She got tired of answering my questions. She's like because I said so. And that would stop the conversation. And it wasn't enough for me. And as I got older, my mom would drop me off at the library because she knew that she would drop me off at the library and say, go learn, 1.2s figure it out. And I'll just preface that by saying that my mom was a teen mom as well. And so when I say that parents do the best that they can, they do the best that they can with what they know and what they have. And I'm so thankful to have a mom that at least gave me an option to learn and space and a place where I could go to learn. And so along those same lines, I started to get involved in many different things because I was just curious. I played every sport because I wanted to see what it was like. Of course, I got involved in 1.2s this was more on a therapeutic level as I got older, but I got involved in theater in high school and loved it because I was a shy kid, which you wouldn't know that now, but I was a very shy kid who didn't really I wasn't very good at social interactions. And so theater allowed me to take on other characters and other traits and to feel and embody them without it being in my mind, me talking or me responding or me portraying this feeling or this behavior. And so I fell in love with theater and went that route. And as I got older, anything that I found that. Piqued my interest. I wanted to have a part of it. I wanted to try it out. And so as I got into the corporate world and the nonprofit world that it was the same thing, I found there was a problem. Somebody needed solving. I didn't know how to do it, but I knew that it needed to be done. So we would hit the ground running of let's create the vision. Let's find the idea of what a path may not be the right path, but let's create and discover and explore and figure this out together. I was always willing to jump in, and I think that's a big call for a multi potential light, is the willingness to try, the willingness to jump in and do something. And so, yeah, that's what I would say. It's stuck with me. And even now, I wanted to learn how to play the guitar, associating myself how to play the guitar. 1.2s Yeah, it's been a journey. 1.5s My kids love to visual arts, and they love to draw and to paint. And I kid you not, this was maybe six years ago I could not draw a stick figure. And now I have a sketchbook where I'm just drawing and exploring and discovering this newfound love that I have. So I never want anyone to believe that they can't do something. I will say, my mom, that was something she impressed upon her children. You can do anything. And again, back to those limitations. So if we have the mindset of can, yes, there are things on the physics realm that our bodies are not capable of doing, but that still doesn't have to limit us. If I can believe that I can fly, who says I can? 2.2s If that's how I see the world, and if that's I can fly. I can do whatever it is. I can lift car, which there are some people who lift cars, but I only limit myself by my beliefs. And so I can do anything. And that's how I've raised my girls and my mom raised me. And I think that everyone like, for us to truly grow in what we're capable of achieving, we all need that belief system. We can do anything.

U2

And I know that you're a huge proponent of the Crown Act. Why do you feel like that's important to us, and why do you think it's important to highlight the Crown Act, especially in corporate environments? 1.9s

U1

So the Crown Act goes back to belief system. And 3.1s as a woman of color, 1.3s and I won't even say that it's just black women, because there are some other races out there who experience their own form of discrimination, hair discrimination. 3.3s For me personally, and I can only speak to my experience and the experience of my children. 2.3s We have been taught that our hair is not good enough, that our skin is not good enough, 1s that our personalities are too strong. That who we are as people, as individuals, as a collective. There's a mindset and a stereotype that walks before us, that walks ahead of us. So if our back then and this was survival and I understand that back then, madam CJ. Walker and her relaxers and her perms to help us fit in, to acclimate to society so that we could be accepted, I understand. Okay. However, in today's world and I still deal with this with my mother and my grandmother both, but in today's world. 1.5s There is no reason for anyone 1.1s to have to change their body, to acclimate to an environment to be accepted, 1.9s period. And so, being an advocate for the Crown Act, I honestly believe that we have an opportunity to to spread the word about that, but to also not back down. 1.3s For example, my mom, 2.3s I have locks, really long locks. And for personal reasons, I had to get rid of them. But I'm on the journey to getting them back because I've missed them. But my mom believes that locks are a deterrent for an employer, and in her mind, it's because she actually told me I needed to wear a wig, a straight hair wig, so that I would fit into the mindset and the belief system of she can be molded. That's how I took it. It was like, she can be molded. She can be trained to do what we need her to do in our space. And so I think it's so important for women of color to. 2.6s It's important for us, for women to understand our worth. And it's not just women, because I know that there are some men too, who struggle with this as well. But it's important for us to know our worth and to advocate for ourselves in the workplace so that we aren't continuing to lessen ourselves and to make ourselves small, to have our voices heard, or even just to have us feet at the table. Which I hate that saying, because 1.3s the table doesn't exist. Right? It doesn't exist. But 1.6s we need to have the confidence and the ability to advocate for ourselves in those spaces by owning who we are, owning our hair and all its beauty. Owning our skin and all its beauty, our note down from the follicles on our hair to our feet. We just have to own our space as we are. And note we cannot shrink anymore. We've done enough of that. 2.7s

U2

So powerful. And before we before we go, though, Miracle, how should our listeners get in contact with you if they want to reach out?

U1

Great question. So the best way to get in touch with me as of right now is through LinkedIn. My name is Miracle Hurley. There's not a lot of those out there, so if you type in Miracle Hurley, you will find me. And it's Mike Miracle, just like it's spelled in the Bible. M-I-R-A-C-L-E. Hurley. Hurley, you

U2

dropped so many gems. But if you were to drop one more, what would you urge listeners to do after listening to this episode? 1.9s

U1

Learn to love. You 1.7s take the time to get to know you and embrace who you are. And you might not know who that is, 1s but the only way you will find out is by taking the time to get to know who you are, to get to know you as you are today. Not who you were yesterday, not who you want to be in the future, but who you are in this moment. 2.5s

U2

Fantastic. Miracle, thank you so much for joining us for the Voices of Inclusion podcast. I hope you have a really good day. This

U1

was awesome. Thank you. Yes.

U2

If you're looking for dei assessments, benchmarking tools, sourcing support training and more, look no further. Go to www. Dot matheson IO and book a call to speak with us. The link is in the description. We're looking forward to connecting with you next time. 8.6s

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